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Monday, November 24, 2008

Exterminate the Rodents, Roast the Pig, & Sex Up Your Bathrooms

Posted on 7:03 AM by dvdsvdsdv

The Hawkeyes pounded the Golden Gophers 55-0 on Saturday evening to close out a 8-4 regular season. The A$$ kicking was historic:

The Hawkeyes (8-4, 5-3 Big Ten) handed the Gophers their most lopsided defeat in the 102-year history of the series and their worst home loss ever in conference play. In the Kirk Ferentz era, it was Iowa's most one-sided Big Ten win and the first shutout for the Hawkeyes in the league. Iowa rolled up 483 yards, limited the Gophers to 134, including minus-7 rushing, and held Minnesota to six first downs.

After the Rodents were exterminated for good, it was time for the Hawks to hoist Floyd of Rosedale and have another pig roast party.


Due to the Rodents moving into a new on campus stadium in 2008, this game was the last in the Metrodome, aka Kinnick North. Two adulterous Hawk fans made sure it was a memorable going away bash.

Two Iowa football fans were caught having sex in a bathroom stall at the Metrodome during Saturday’s Minnesota-Iowa game.

According to a police report, a Metrodome security officer saw two people having sex in a handicapped stall after noticing two sets of feet with underwear dropped to the ground.

A group of 15 onlookers were gawking at the scene by the time officers broke the couple up and wrote them misdemeanor citations.
This is my favorite part:
The officer arrived and separated the two. The 38-year-old female and the 26-year-old male, both in town from Iowa, were cited for indecent conduct before being released, respectively, to their husband and girlfriend.

Who says the only way to get busy in a men's stall in Minneapolis is by a game of foot tapping? The Hawkeye Cougar found her prey and the dude obliged. Unless this is some epic swingers club, I would love to have a seat at both of their respective Thanksgiving Day tables.

Hawkeye Nation did behave on the field by not attempting to rip the goal posts out of the stadium like in 2002. This video still gives me goose bumps.



Oh, I was on the field and it was awesome. I gave my buddy Racho a high five as he rolled by me at the midfield with the goal posts in his arms.

Shonn Greene for Heisman!!

Props to Black Heart Gold Pants for the Pictures

Update:
The dudes at BHGP have weighed on this classic story quicker than a drunk mowing down a Ped Mall Gyro at 2:30am. They always bring the funny:
Since the two weren't arrested, we're denied the richer-than-chocolate privilege of seeing mugshots. I, for one, hope the lady's either really hot or just beastly. No half-stepping here.

But that's not even the best part of the story. The two Iowa fans (as if there was any doubt at all) were both in a committed relationship. Just, uh, not with each other. The police released the man to his girlfriend, and the woman to her husband. Yeah. She came up from Iowa to the game with her spouse, and couldn't make it the whole game without sneaking into the men's room and getting filled up by some dude a dozen years younger while a bunch of people cheer them on.



MMMM, In Heaven.........
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Posted in 0, 55, Floyd of Rosedale, Iowa Hawkeyes, Minnesota Gophers, Rodents, Shonn Greene | No comments

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bruce Rocks at Ping Pong

Posted on 3:07 PM by dvdsvdsdv
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Posted in Bruce Lee, Ping Pong, Table Tennis | No comments

Mmmmm Bacon

Posted on 7:35 AM by dvdsvdsdv



Bacon lovers should check out Men's Fitness's 14 revolutionary uses for America's favorite meat.

Using the google,I found some killer Homer Simpson's bacon quotes.
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Posted in Bacon, Homer Simpson, Men's Fitness | No comments

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Crunk It Up

Posted on 10:16 PM by dvdsvdsdv
The weekend is starting early and my heart rate just exploded by this bootie shakin.



I kept waiting for the Dirk Diggler wannabee to enter the room with his long fire hose. Oh Well, Happy Fryday Fockers!!
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Posted in Bootie Shakin, Hot Coeds, Sexy video | No comments

Little Jack

Posted on 8:57 PM by dvdsvdsdv
Anthony Morrow, an undrafted rookie for the Golden State Warriors, shocked the NBA world by busting out with 37 points on 15/20 shooting and pulling down 12 rebounds in his first NBA start. He followed up the next game by pouring in 25 points against Portland on Tuesday.

ESPN's John Hollinger calls Morrow a poor man's Michael Redd but the nickname given to the former Georgia Tech star by his new teammates made my evening. "Little Jack"

SF Gate:Within weeks of coming to the Warriors, Morrow had earned the nickname "Little Jack" because he reminded people of Stephen Jackson, whom he resembles from a distance. (In college, he went by A-Mo.) Jackson welcomed the comparison and decided to quasi-adopt the rookie.

"I always like the underdog," Jackson said. "I root for them in movies. I root for them in sports. ... Players who make it when they're not drafted, I love their attitudes. Last year, I said C.J Watson was my son. Now, he's got a brother."

Big Jack


Little Jack




Anthony Morrow Draft Express Bio
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Posted in Anthony Morrow, Little Jack, Stephen Jackson | No comments

My Morning Jacket Rocking in a Taxi Cab

Posted on 12:37 PM by dvdsvdsdv
I love me some MMJ and this is pretty sick. Lead Singer Jim James can howl with the best of them.



HT: The Sugar Sheet
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Posted in My Morning Jacket, Taxi Cab, The Black Cab Sessions | No comments

Too Fast

Posted on 6:35 AM by dvdsvdsdv
The first man bullet is always a little quicker to fire out of the chamber.




Props to the Slow, Big Shooter: The Notorious DEK.
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Posted in Jon Lajoie, Too Fast | No comments

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Hippie Poon Part Trees

Posted on 10:05 PM by dvdsvdsdv











Busted!!!
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Posted in Hippie Poon, Hippie Poon Part 3 | No comments

Old Lady Loves Caffeine

Posted on 12:51 PM by dvdsvdsdv
This old woman must have read about the Mormon Church funding bigotry against the rights of gays.
Warning, Curse Words.


Although I support financial payback towards the Mormon Church, I am still excited for the new season of Big Love.
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Posted in ady, Funny, Mormons, Old lady | No comments

Monday, November 17, 2008

Coaching Em Up Early

Posted on 11:11 AM by dvdsvdsdv
Teaching flip cup at an early age will pay off benefits in the long run.


Translation: She will hold her own in drinking games, while wearing skimpy outfits like these Sun Devil coeds.






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Posted in Arizona State, Flip Cup, Hot Coeds, Sundevils, tailgating | No comments

Barry O Wants a College Football Playoff

Posted on 6:43 AM by dvdsvdsdv
President-Elect Barack Obama was interviewed on 60 minutes last night. Here is a funny exchange about his mother in law and the new future puppy that our county is obsessed over already.


Obama went on to reinforce his desire for a college football play off and I am positive greedy BCS college presidents chuckled to themselves because they have no intention of ever relinquishing their guaranteed money to fulfill the desires of college football fans. It makes too much sense.

I was unable to locate the video yet but here is the transcript.

KROFT:
I have one last question. As president of the United States, what can you do, or what do you plan to do, about getting a college football playoff for the national championship?

B. OBAMA: This is important. Look -- excuse me for a second.

B. OBAMA: I think any sensible person would say that, if you’ve got a bunch of teams who play throughout the season, and many of them have one loss or two losses, there’s no clear decisive winner, that we should be creating a playoff system.

Eight teams -- that would be three rounds to determine a national champion. It would add three extra weeks to the season. You could trim back on the regular season. I don’t know any serious fan of college football who has disagreed with me on this. So, I’m going to throw my weight around a little bit. I think it’s the right thing to do.
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Posted in Barack Obama, College Football, Playoff | No comments

Friday, November 14, 2008

Holiday Romance Guide

Posted on 9:32 AM by dvdsvdsdv

Here is some solid holiday romance advice from a John Carney post and the Notorious DEK weighed in on his favorite ones.

29. Avoid any girl who has done speed dating, match.com or j-date. She's got commitment issues, and since you're an emotionally unavailable alcoholic, neither of you will ever call each other.

30. Avoid any girl on anti-psychotics. She'll go off her meds one day and plant a corkscrew in your ribcage.

40. Avoid any girl who wants to monopolize your time on New Year's Eve. The night is too wrought with emotions and memories. Spend time with as many different people as possible or else stay home and alternate heroin and absinthe until you pass out at twenty till midnight. Also, she's probably on Ritalin and won't share it.

47. Avoid any girl you meet at Cocaine Anonymous. She won't do drugs with you.

All very intuitive advice and here are some other ones that I found commendable:

2. Avoid dating a girl just because she is your favorite bartender. Where are you going to drink when you want to forget her?

3. Avoid girl who tells you she she is on a cleanse. She hates herself.

7. Avoid any girl who really likes girls who blog about their sex lives. She’s just too lazy to ruin your name right now. She’ll find a way later.

13. Avoid any girl who is a DJ. She’ll make you listen to her terrible music.

17. Avoid any girl with more tattoos than you. She’ll never respect you.

18. Avoid any girl who is still angry because her last boyfriend cheated on her. You’ll cheat on her too.

Go read the whole list

I found this link at the Cajun Boy in City. Bookmark or add his RSS because the sarcastic, cynical and hilarious Cajun Boy brings it.
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Posted in Funny List, Guide to Holiday Romance, John Carney | No comments

Thursday, November 13, 2008

In Heaven There is No Beer

Posted on 1:45 PM by dvdsvdsdv
I took my crappy photo shop skills to a screen shot of ESPN's website. God Bless You Daniel Murray. I hope you are still higher than the crowd at a Snoop Dogg concert.



Here is the Hawkeye band performing the beer song in a Iowa City pub.



Back in my glory drunken years of college academia, the University banned the band from singing the words to the beer song because some local bible beating teacher complained.

Of course, this led to every student yelling the words of the song at the next basketball game and eventually, the band was allowed to sing again.

The band immediately goes into the song after every basketball and football victory. (Yes, to the Big 10 haters out there, please insert the obligatory Iowa sucks joke here)



This next video shows how Iowa gets selected to higher bowls than their on the field performance deserves because they travel so damn well.



This post was dedicated to my boy, the Hoff Daddy, who likely has not came down from Saturday's upset high and he is still yelling "Go Hawks" to every Husker fan in Omaha.
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Posted in Beer Song, Football, In Heaven, Iowa Hawkeyes | No comments

Bills Tailgaters Perform Tackling Drills

Posted on 10:07 AM by dvdsvdsdv
Videos of Buffalo Bills fans tailgating are always all over the tubes. They usually consist of the fans boozing hard core or braving cold conditions to booze hard core. This latest tailgating activity from Bills nation is new and it involves willing human tackling dummies.





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Posted in Buffalo Bills, Tackling Drills, tailgating | No comments

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blinded By the White

Posted on 2:03 PM by dvdsvdsdv
Here is a neat photo chart of the 44 American presidents and try not to be blinded by the WASPiness.

Lil Bill O the Clown is fired up over the election results.



Honestly, I am trying to ween myself off posting about politics but it is hard out there for a junkie.
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Posted in Bill O'Reilly, President Chart | No comments

My Favorite New NBA Show

Posted on 7:04 AM by dvdsvdsdv
This new NBA TV show with Chris Weber and Gary Payton cracked me up last night. I probably could do without Ahmad Rashad and CNN's John King touch screen skills gave me campaign flashbacks. I am still recovering from that never ending 2008 Presidential election.

CWeb and the glove are must see TV. They rip on Rashad pretty good on this video.


Here is a clip from last week's show.
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Posted in Ahmad Rashad, Chris Weber, Game Night, Gary Payton, NBA TV | No comments

Link Whores

Posted on 6:09 AM by dvdsvdsdv
  • This hot chick pretends to play golf. On 205th
  • Models in Lingerie should rev up your morning. My Chill Pill
  • A collection of tricked out cars painted with advertisement's for McDonald's, Cheetos, and Newport. Banned In Hollywood
  • Bengals fans want a new GM and have started a cool name for their organization,"Who Dey Revolution." Yep Yep
  • Check out this cool list of absurdly named Bond girls. Next Round
  • Simon asks which call of a NFL announcer was dumber, Nantz or Madden? Bus boy for sure. Simon on Sports
  • Sportscrack rolls out his top 5 Heisman list with Shonn Greene getting some love and I just want to see him wearing a suit in NYC next month. Sportscrack
  • Fresh off beating down Roy Jones, Joe Calzaghe calls Bernard Hopkins a racist and a coward. OH Snap! Graney and the Pig's blog
  • Pictures of Carmen Electra never ever get old. Hot POA
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Posted in Link Whores | No comments

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Happy Veterans Day

Posted on 8:28 PM by dvdsvdsdv
I just want to give a shout out to all the vets out there with some pictures of Pat Tillman. This dude is a true American hero along with every soldier sitting in the deserts of Iraq and on military duty all around the world.

It is long past time to bring the troops home from Iraq President-Elect and your double down ideas in Afghanistan are terrible. More troops for an Osama man hunt is well overdue but thinking we are going to solve the long term troubles of a war savaged and impoverished Afghanistan society with increased military power is highly dubious.

Plus, I am sure there are several Russian Generals who can explain in detail what it was like fighting in Afghanistan throughout the 80s and how it worked out for them.

Anyway, pour some out to those who gave up their lives in an uniform and please hope the new American leaders are less likely to callously toss troops into deadly meat grinders.



This is still the best article that I have read in Sports Illustrated in years about Tillman's death. It is really long read but well worth your time.

Pat Tillman SI Story
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Posted in Pat Tillman, Veterans Day | No comments

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hawks are BCS Killers

Posted on 10:49 AM by dvdsvdsdv
Iowa kicker Daniel Murray is set for life in the Hawkeye State.



HT: Black Heart Gold Pants
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Posted in College Football, Daneil Murray, Field Goal, Iowa Hawkeyes, Penn State, Upset | No comments

Stripper Pole Tailgating

Posted on 7:49 AM by dvdsvdsdv
How easy it would my job as poon hunter be at tailgates if I could just stake out the stripper pole?





I have no idea what this dude below is on but I could use 2 right about now.

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Posted in Alabama, LSU, Stripper Pole, Tailgate | No comments

Case of the F Bomb Mundays

Posted on 7:19 AM by dvdsvdsdv
This is the exact the word that came out of my mouth when Packers kicker Mason Crosby missed the game winner yesterday against the Viqueens.



John Cole of Balloon Juice reveals how dumb this TV gasbag conversation truly is anyway considering the latest news of the US government squeezing the tax payer for more billions to these bank crooks.


Your Morning F Bomb
Treasury Secretary is Shady
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Posted in F Bomb, Joe Scarborough, Morning Joe, MSNBC | No comments

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Golden Shower at the 930 Club

Posted on 9:33 PM by dvdsvdsdv

At their late night spot in last summer's All Good Music Festival, Dark Star Orchestra put the crowd to sleep so I still have a sour taste in my mouth about the Grateful Dead cover band. I love the Dead but Casey Jones is not the beat you need to keep you rocking at 5am.

Anyway, this New Jersey pol showed his distaste for Dark Star or maybe my fellow hippies' body odor with a golden shower performance:

A drunken Jersey City councilman was arrested for urinating on a crowd of concertgoers from the balcony of a Washington nightclub, police and club sources said Saturday.

Councilman Steven Lipski was caught relieving himself onto several revelers at the 9:30 Club during a concert by a Grateful Dead tribute band Friday night, club sources said.

"He was very drunk," the source said, noting that it wasn't the first time Lipski had caused a ruckus at the popular concert venue.

"We've dealt with this man before," the source added. "He's never peed on anybody, but he gets really belligerent and drunk."

Lipski, 44, was hauled out of the club about 9:50 p.m. after staffers spotted him in the act on the concert hall's second-floor balcony and called the cops.

I know there is some great Dead Lyrics that I could use to parody but I am drawing a blank like an Oakland Raiders QB in the pocket. 9:50pm is pretty early to be pissing in public and appears to be a Happy Hour Hero.

I just have 2 things: New Jersey and Awesome.

Jersey City Councilman Steven Lipski is No. 1 threat at Washington club
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Posted in 930 Club, Councilman, Dark Star Orchestra, Golden Shower, New Jersey, Steven Lipski | No comments

Friday, November 7, 2008

This Week In Blackness-President Elect Obama

Posted on 1:24 PM by dvdsvdsdv
Comedian Elon James White's hilarious videos will be one of the few things that I will miss from the 2008 campaign. He brings the Obama comedic thunder one more time.

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Posted in Elon James White, This Week in Blackness | No comments

Thursday, November 6, 2008

A Little Sooner Poon Sample

Posted on 12:54 PM by dvdsvdsdv
Here is a small sample of some Sooner pooner pictures from my Halloween weekend trip to Oklahoma and Norman. There are more to follow.


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Posted in Sooner Poon | No comments

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Terrorist Fist Jabbing to the White House

Posted on 2:08 PM by dvdsvdsdv
Maybe this Obama victory can reverse the fortunes of my NFL fantasy squad, "DC Terrorist Fist Jabs." My team is in a bigger free fall than the Grand Old Party and the Dallas Cowboys.



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Posted in Barack Obama, ck Obama, Terrorist Fist Jabs | No comments

"Move Bush, Get Out the Way"

Posted on 1:37 PM by dvdsvdsdv
I did not end up here until a hour after this footage and the crowd had thinned a little but it was still electric.



My 2 favorite post election quotes so far:

Considering all of the "celebrabrating" going on last night, I wonder how big the baby boom will be between August 4th and August 11th 2009...

It's a great day for Democrats and Republicans alike. For Democrats, Barack Obama was elected President.
For Republicans, there was finally dancing in the streets and Americans greeted as liberators.


This Headline Says it ALL!
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Posted in 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Celebrating, CNN, Dancing, DC, George W Bush, White House, YouTube video | No comments

Brand New Funky President

Posted on 10:25 AM by dvdsvdsdv
My thoughts on the historic election will be forthcoming and I am still struggling to control my emotions with the enormity that has transpired. I was deeply moved by what I witnessed in the streets of DC last night and it was exactly what Martin Luther King wanted for America.

Thousands of people of all colors and ethnicities united in celebration for a common cause of good.

Meanwhile, we have a brand new funky President!!
"Sing it Godfather!"

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Posted in Barack Obama, Brand New Funky President, DC, Election Night | No comments

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Fired Up and Ready to Go!

Posted on 12:39 PM by dvdsvdsdv
I am ready to party, talk smack to any bow tied/flipped collared GOP staffers who dare to show their smug faces out this evening and rock in the new Obama administration at the main Democratic headquarters shin dig. Maybe I will even get on TV at the DC victory speech.

The Reagan Revolution is officially over and Karl Rove's GOP dream was nothing but a fantasy fairy tale.

Fired up! Ready to GO!


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Posted in 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Fire It Up, Ready To GO | No comments

Go Vote

Posted on 8:52 AM by dvdsvdsdv
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Posted in Vote, You Tube Video | No comments

Barry the American Baller on MNF

Posted on 8:17 AM by dvdsvdsdv
I have further proof that Obama is not a member of secret terrorist sleeper cell out to get America like his most fervent detractors believe because he knows the tremendous need for a playoff in college football.

Barry the Baller love him some March madness, plays fantasy football, jokes about drinking too much booze, watches Sportscenter, jams out to Jay Z on his Ipod, and hoops it up in pickup games.

How much more American does a man have to get for the haters?

Barry O talks to "You're With Me Leather" on MNF.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Monday Night Football | No comments

Change Begins Today

Posted on 7:16 AM by dvdsvdsdv
After waiting for over a hour plus in 400 deep line at 7am, my vote for change is official.

My Mount Pleasant neighborhood in NW DC will be breaking huge for Obama and not the mainstream media cares (only white rural voters in Appalachia/PA matter), most of the urban Obama voters here will be pasty white like Mac G.



Barry O and Joe the Senator cast their ballots as well.





Change is near my friends.
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Posted in 2008 Presidential Election, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Mount Pleasant | No comments
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      • Exterminate the Rodents, Roast the Pig, & Sex Up Y...
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      • Barry the American Baller on MNF
      • Change Begins Today
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