A newly minted Mac G's World correspondent, Lil John Stud, is living it up in Beijing this summer. He recently improved diplomatic relations with China in the best way possible by skinning hot Chineese poon.
Hopefully the following story that my American friend emailed is a precursor to many US Olympic golds, specifically Team USA restoring the order in world basketball dominance.
Imagine this:
You are in an exotic city with all kinds of crazy and interesting shit going on but you are really horny and havent' gotten laid in months in spite of the fact you have met like a million beautiful women. So... you make plans to travel. Your plan is to go to towns and cities, to borders, dams and demilitarized zones.
You plan to go to Inner Mongolia, a place best known for riding horses in expansive fields of grass and flowers. Why? -to get away from 'it all' and try to forget about how horny you are, of course. Your trip gets delayed because you have guests, and this increases your urgency to travel.
Then, two days before you leave, the most beautiful of the million women you met demands to come to your dorm room and take a shower at 3pm in the afternoon. Out of your mouth comes, "Hmmmm... I guess that would be alright" and inside, you say " I am the happiest and pimpiest mother fucker in the world! there is a god! Oh God! Oh God! I will never doubt your existence again. Oh God! Oh God!" and "I hope the cleaning lady replaced my bed sheets today!?!?!?".
You ditch your guests by saying you HAVE to do laundry RIGHT NOW and bike your ass back to your building as fast as your piece of shit bike will permit without it completely disintegrating into the air that is 60% saturated with aluminum oxide, anyways.
You run to your room, grab all of the hanging and not-yet-dry clothes off the line and throw them in the closet and under the bed. Then you dissect your junk drawer, find two very old condoms, praise Buddha, Allah, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Jah Rastafari and the Spaghetti Monster for their existence and strategically place/hide the condoms to within reach of the bed.
She calls when she arrives, you say you will be right down as you are changing your sweat drenched shirt, quickly brush your tongue and gums and fix your hair. You go get her and bring her to your room. She takes a shower and you wash her. It's awesomely awesome and all goes according to fantasy.
While the statuesque and exotic beauty (see the hottest of my new facebook friends) is making sweet love making sounds, she says she wants to do it every day and that you shouldn't go to Inner Mongolia because she says, 'I am Inner Mongolia'. Wow.
What do you do?
My guess is Lil John Stud yelled "OKAAAAAAYYY" to her question and someone will have to pick him up a Inner Mongolia souvenir because he probably still is in bed.
Mad Props to Flatusyahu for the hot photo and much more at this link.
Mac G's World
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